Zone of Proximal Development

Lately it seem there's been a lot of stuff that I didn't know how to do that I've had to try to tackle:

- watch my friend's body grow weaker and weaker and then help plan her funeral
(she's the first friend I've had who's died! Not fair.)

- go to principal school
(who was I kidding - I didn't really know what the principal did until this year! Surprise.)

- teach acting class
(watching people act for the last 7 years isn't quiet the same! But it did help.)

- become a full time producer of high school theater
(and direct a show! totally new.)

All of that's been within the past calendar year. Not even a whole year yet. Eleven months.

And doing all this new stuff is challenging. And I'm learning new things, practicing new skills, tackling new issues, creating new connections in my brain.

But sometimes all the newness is taxing.

And too stimulating.

And I realized: I've been living in the panic zone!

So I retreated back to the comfort zone tonight by engaging in something I haven't done in nine months. I went to symphony rehearsal and played my violin.

Now, let's get one thing straight: I'm no violin virtuoso.

But I know how to "do" the symphony. I know when to show up, where to go, where to sit, how to sight read, what time we usually take a break, who I'll probably see there, what it feels like to muddle through the first read of a piece of music with a group of people doing the same thing.

It feels good to be an expert at something again.

And soon I'll have to do some new things again and push back into the learning zone (the zone of proximal development, as we say in eduspeak). But what I've realized in the last week is that - just like in 6th period when we're studying a Shakespeare play and we're getting into and having fun but after a few weeks we have to read something that's in modern English because our brains are working overtime - sometimes it's good to take a break and do something you're good at without having to work too hard at it.

And so I'll go back to symphony on Thursday night. And I'll miss a bunch of notes.

But I'll be OK with that.

And it might save me.