Counting

For Ali.  (well, really, it's not for Ali.  It's for me.  In remembering my friend Ali, who died a year ago and whose voice I miss in this world.)

I first did this writing exercise at a nature writing class at the Boy Scout camp one summer on the eve of the start of school.  I keep coming back to it as a way to start writing.  

Inspired by "13 Ways of Looking at a Blackbird" by Wallace Stevens....

8 Ways of Counting Rests

I

Whether sitting 

in the middle 

of a gaggle of violins in a concert 

or 

watching from the audience while your friends
perform complex feats of musical marvoulousness, 

it's interesting to check out 

how different people 

count measures of rest.  

II

Some ever so slightly 

keep track with their fingers on the strings; 

I see the pressure 

and slight lift of the fingers 

counting from 1 to 5 and back to 1.  

III

Some
who think we can't see them
beat out the rhythm 

in the usual 

1-2-3-4 

down-left-right-up 

pattern

as if they were their own conductor 

IV
Some put their
instruments down
for the count.
It's a long wait;
that clues me in to listen
to the soloist
or wait for the upcoming
crash of drums
or trill of the piccolo.

V
All this counting
of the pauses.

VI
And in reality

I'm equally impatient
with the pauses
the breaks in schedule
the blanks in my calendar

VII
I feel the need to count
to figure out
what's
next

VIII
When perhaps I should
let the rests
happen
without counting
without conducting