Goldilocks - she got a nursery story written about her.
But in case you want to know more about her story, if you believe what wikipedia has to say (see here), the original story involved in old lady who broke into the home of three bears living peacefully in the woods who wandered off to let their porridge cool one fine day.
So if we switch the story around a little tiny bit, here's what happened; and this story, Goldilocks is me:
After a long day of arduous summer vacationing, this Goldilocks awoke to the sun trying vainly to peek through the darkened windows of our girl's room at the oh-so-early-for-summer hour of 9:30. She saw she had a text summoning her to breakfast at her local breakfast establishment, where they make the porridge for you.
And so off she went. She ate her lovely breakfast of pancakes (not porridge today, and this time not interrupted by rude and obnoxious comments by her neighboring breakfast eaters - see previous postings of hateful things) and then proceeded to do what one can do during the summer vacationing period: run errands.
She visited a local (well, not local.) business to purchase a seat cover for the seat of her newly-procured bicycle. She stopped for a late-morning iced coffee from her favorite (or, since we're in storytelling mode here and the originator of the Goldilocks tale is from the isles, favourite) local coffee establishment where they know what good coffee tastes like. And then she decided to take advantage of the day to ride said bike on a maiden voyage.
She even - thank you to those of you who told her she should even if she doesn't really want to - rode with her newly-fixed helmet.
And she rode for a little over and hour and took this shot at her turning around point about 30 minutes in, which is not truly reflective of the quality of the day or the scenery, but it's the kind of shot you get with an ollllddd iphone.
Goldilocks continued on her merry way - she meandered back toward her house with several stops: Eagle Beach (where she was bitten - through her clothes! - by horse flies), past Auk Rec (where she saw a deer and a wolf within a few miles of each other), the waffle shop (where she had an omelet waffle), and a long stop-over at the downtown cemetery (where she read her new book from the library, where she also stopped momentarily). Then she went home.
And what, do you ask, makes this story in any way connected to Goldilocks?
Well... when our Goldilocks - that's me, remember? - came home, she walked into the kitchen to see this:
And this:
(notice the super-kitty, Bella, who clearly protected her home from attack and intrusion!)
Our heroine quickly phoned a friend and began collecting evidence. I mean, she's had intruders before.... so where was this one? how'd they get in? what did they take?
Exhibit A: Goldilocks turned and saw this on the table.
What intruder comes in and doesn't want a "Life is good" sticker or $5.50?
Exhibit B (sadly, this piece is missing. no good photos were taken of the state of the bathroom as whole. let's just say you could tell there were signs of forced entry through the bathroom window)
Exhibit C: close up of bathroom window.
(Notice the long furry bear-like remains still attached to the sill.)
Exhibit D: Claw marks on the piece of furniture next to the window in said bathroom.
Exhibit E: A mangled window screen, now off of the window.
Exhibit F: No picture evidence, anecdotal evidence only -- when Goldilocks stuck her head out of the window to look for the screen, she spied the bear up on the hill above the house - with her little baby cub - eating a jar of peanut butter that had, up to that point, been living in this home's kitchen.
Exhibits G & H: The cocoa powder. With the puncture wounds and hair.
And so, knowing intruders as she does, this Goldilocks came to the following conclusion:
Ursus americanus. Or, American black bear.
And so, now that a bear has visited my house (oldest) and A's house in Colorado (the youngest), V (middle) - it's your turn! I guess that makes you the Goldilocks?!
And it will be just right.
In the meantime, I need a new screen for the bathroom, but will keep all the windows closed for a while. Or ever.
And she rode for a little over and hour and took this shot at her turning around point about 30 minutes in, which is not truly reflective of the quality of the day or the scenery, but it's the kind of shot you get with an ollllddd iphone.
Goldilocks continued on her merry way - she meandered back toward her house with several stops: Eagle Beach (where she was bitten - through her clothes! - by horse flies), past Auk Rec (where she saw a deer and a wolf within a few miles of each other), the waffle shop (where she had an omelet waffle), and a long stop-over at the downtown cemetery (where she read her new book from the library, where she also stopped momentarily). Then she went home.
And what, do you ask, makes this story in any way connected to Goldilocks?
Well... when our Goldilocks - that's me, remember? - came home, she walked into the kitchen to see this:
And this:
(notice the super-kitty, Bella, who clearly protected her home from attack and intrusion!)Our heroine quickly phoned a friend and began collecting evidence. I mean, she's had intruders before.... so where was this one? how'd they get in? what did they take?
Exhibit A: Goldilocks turned and saw this on the table.
What intruder comes in and doesn't want a "Life is good" sticker or $5.50?Exhibit B (sadly, this piece is missing. no good photos were taken of the state of the bathroom as whole. let's just say you could tell there were signs of forced entry through the bathroom window)
Exhibit C: close up of bathroom window.
(Notice the long furry bear-like remains still attached to the sill.)Exhibit D: Claw marks on the piece of furniture next to the window in said bathroom.
Exhibit E: A mangled window screen, now off of the window.
Exhibit F: No picture evidence, anecdotal evidence only -- when Goldilocks stuck her head out of the window to look for the screen, she spied the bear up on the hill above the house - with her little baby cub - eating a jar of peanut butter that had, up to that point, been living in this home's kitchen.
Exhibits G & H: The cocoa powder. With the puncture wounds and hair.
And so, knowing intruders as she does, this Goldilocks came to the following conclusion:
Ursus americanus. Or, American black bear.
And so, now that a bear has visited my house (oldest) and A's house in Colorado (the youngest), V (middle) - it's your turn! I guess that makes you the Goldilocks?!
And it will be just right.
In the meantime, I need a new screen for the bathroom, but will keep all the windows closed for a while. Or ever.
5 comments:
Kristin! I am so glad you were out and about...and not home! Do you have bear spray at your house? Also...sorry your dresser in the bathroom got scratched! Eli is going to want to hear all about it :)
2 out of 3....I don't like those odds......keep those doors and windows locked.
Holy cow! What an unpleasant surprise! You are fortunate more damage was not done. How the heck did it know how to open the fridge? Why didn't it eat more? Finally, thank goodness you were out of the house! That was quite a story!
O.M.G. That would seriously freak me out. Glad you were out and that all is okay with Bella!
I know - OMG is right! But no one can tell Eli about it because he is already never coming to visit and this will solidify that deal!
Janet, you're right - I think the bear was in there a short time - no scat to clean up, not much eaten, cabinet doors not taken off the hinges, etc. A pretty clean sweep of the fridge... crazy!
The fish and game bear dudes came over to check it out -- esp since she came back to the window last night and scratched at it for a little until I made a bunch o' noise and banged on the window and she moved on away... hopefully no repeats tonight! Doors and windows locked, Mom, no doubt!
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